HEALER ≠ STRONG

“I’m not strong, I’m a Healer.

If you’re anything like me, you probably don’t associate the word ‘Healer’ with the word ‘Strong’. 

But Healers, you might be strong anyway. You might just not know it.

I went to Warriors of Light for the first time this year, despite being ‘eligible’ (this just means I had completed prerequisite training like Ritual Master) for the last three years. 

I always had a reason and a super logical excuse not to go. It was mainly about the effort it would take to get all the way to Toronto, the investment, and the ‘days off work’ that I didn’t think I had. There are many like I was, who have walked the path for years and just never *quite* made it to Warriors of Light. 

But this year something inside me knew I would be going. I mentally prepared myself as much as you can for something you know very little about.

On the outside, Warriors of Light looks like a bunch of pushups and weird martial arts training; but like all classes that the Modern Mystery School offers, it holds a kind of magick that is difficult to describe. 

The first two days of the program I felt niggles of discomfort and resistance as the light of the program shined through, but every morning I did it anyway. I got up at 5:30, did my Ensofic prep (crucial to maintain this wild mind), put on my Gi, and showed up for morning training at 7am.  

Through the long days, the complete lack of ‘alone time’, the hours spent with a Sovereign Ipsissimus dropping Hermetic truths left, right, and center, and the jab-hook-cross-step-cross-jab-cross boxing combinations, something dawned on me. 

On the 45th minute of the same simple martial arts combination, I was still focused on my technique. When someone talked my ear off at lunch I listened anyway. On the 5th day of the program I still remembered to bring all my gear downstairs for training.  When the instructors bent the rules to make the exercise ‘harder’, I giggled in their faces and did it anyway. On my birthday I still woke up at the crack of dawn and did physical training all day! 

I was so much more capable of pushing through my boundaries than I ever gave myself credit for. It came naturally to me, almost like I’ve been practicing my whole life… 

I realized I was strong all along. 

I pushed myself all along. 

I focused all along.

Honestly God/desses, Warriors of Light wasn’t hard. 

I surrendered to the fact that I was strong all along, and then it was easy. 

This Healer was always a Warrior. 

The program flowed, I grew, and I (finally) dusted off my glasses to see parts of myself that were there ALL ALONG. 

I had just forgotten.
For me, Warriors of Light was a remembering. 

One that I would never trade back. Not for the cash, the time, or the days off. Not for anything.