Your whole life is a distraction. Here’s how to focus.

What I learned about focus as ‘the kid in the candy store’.

Do you consider yourself organized, efficient, or focused?

I do, but it doesn’t come naturally. I have family history of severe ADHD and general absentmindedness, but I trained myself to be focused and organized from a young age by reading books like “The Organized Student” in 5th grade and using an index card to cover all but the math problem that I was currently solving for my homework assignments.

Now as an adult, I further develop my focus using ancient spiritual techniques combined with modern psychological practices, which I work on with my clients and always, always practice just as deeply in my own life.

In short, I know that when I have one point of focus, I can focus.

But then I went to the market to buy my current food obsession (closed taste in Human Design, if you know, you know), which is olive bread.

As I was checking out at the market with my olive bread, it suddenly dawned on me that I had forgotten to grab a carton of oat milk for my daily matcha.

“One moment please,” I told the checkstand girl, “I forgot something.” I walked over to get the oat milk, which was about ten steps away.

Between me and the oat milk stood a giant display of polvorones, a Spanish candy made with almond flour, butter, and sugar, which is only available during the month of October. Captivated by my favorite candy that I hadn’t seen or eaten in a year, I immediately began inspecting all of the polvorones to see if they had my favorite flavor, which is cinnamon.

I rummaged through the twelve types of polvorón, picking up one polvorón from each divider and deciphering the old Catalan script, looking for indications of flavor. There was no cinnamon flavor, much to my dismay, only the traditional type, along with sesame (ew) and lemon (also kind of ew). Only after inspecting all of the polvorones did the checkstand girl faintly return to my awareness, wiggling her little finger in the back of my brain.

I had left her standing at the checkout with nothing to do, waiting for me to retrieve my oat milk (and apparently look at all of the polvorones in the stores) to pay so that she could return to stocking shelves.

At the sight of the candies, my so-called laser “focus”, trained after reading The Organized Student shifted entirely from oat milk then check-out, to POLVORONES. I completely forgot that the checkstand girl was waiting for me.

How quickly the candies pulled my attention away from my task at hand.

The Lesson

In a life full of push notifications, beeps and vibrations, TikTok attention spans and children screaming at us for our precious attention, the focus/refocus cycle is required to keep us on our path to full embodiment of our divinity.

When the mind is still and silent, we hold the key to our creativity and access to our Higher Selves.

We want to achieve stillness and silence, so that we can embody this.

But focusing isn’t always easy. Focusing the mind isn’t just a ‘close your eyes and empty your thoughts’ immediate gratification type of practice. No.

Focus, like a workout on the track, requires a warm-up. Neurochemical circuits ramp up to their maximum capacity by releasing more ‘focus neurotransmitters’ (for those of you who care, epinephrine, acetylcholine, serotonin, dopamine) the more you focus.

But strengthening the system as a whole is achieved only through an unexpected behavior.

That magick lies in the moment that you realize you were distracted, and bring your attention back to your object of focus.

Focus circuits in your brain are reinforced & strengthened in this moment— when you bring your attention *back* to your focus, not while you are maintaining it.

While meditating (unless you’re an expert, and I would argue, even when you are), your attention will drift from the meditation, the breath, or the mantra. In this case, ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’ is an apt recommendation.

Like my moment in the market when I realized ‘Oh, yeah! The check stand girl is waiting for me” and returned my focus to her, you will become better at focusing after you screw it up and bring your awareness back to your point of focus.

So, instead of shaming yourself the next time you get distracted, simply return your focus to the object or task at hand. This is how you will become less distractible.

My favorite way to practice this is by starting my week with an hour of energy re-set at Max Meditation.

If you’re interested in learning more about the neurobiology of focusing, I highly recommend this podcast episode.